i always wear all black just to remind you that im always ready for your funeral
you know you have hit your lowest point of being low when you start procrastinating your showers
i dont care WHAT you say or if im a grown man i will not give up my swing for your 3 year old son he can fucking wait his turn
i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”
the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post
we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning
there was nailpolish standing in front of me and I
accidentlyended up putting it on my nails, this shit is freaking hard, this is why I’m a male.LITERALLY MY WHOLE THUMB IS BLUE
HOW DO I REMOVE DIS SHITNail polish remover, sweetie.
Well okay I found some luckily
let’s try this shit out.
IS THIS LIKE A HARRY POTTER POTIONS JFC, THIS IS FUCKING MAGIC. I SWEAR.
they are here to learn from the professionals.
The things that I’ve done
- Graduated high school.
Kissed someone.Collected something really stupid.- Smoked a cigarette.
- Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.Gone to a rock concert.Helped someone.Gone fishing.Watched four movies in one night.Gone long periods of time without sleep.Lied to someone.- Snorted cocaine.
- Failed a class.
- Smoked weed.
- Dealt drugs.
Been in a car accident.- Been in a tornado.
Been to a funeral.Burned yourself.- Ran a marathon.
Cried yourself to sleep.Spent over $200 in one day.Flown on a plane.- Cheated on someone.
- Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.Gone skiing.Been sailing.Have a best friend.Lost someone you loved.Shoplifted something.- Been to jail.
- Dangerously close to being in jail.
Skipped school.Had detention.Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.Stolen books from the library.Gone to a different country.- Dropped out of school.
- Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
- Had an online diary.
Had a yard sale.Had a lemonade stand.Actually made money at the lemonade stand.Been in a school play.- Been fired from a job.
- Swam with dolphins.
Taken a lie detector test.Gone to Sea World.Voted for someone on a reality TV show.Written poetry.Read more than 20 books a year.Gone to Europe.Loved someone you shouldn’t have.Used a coloring book over age 12.Had surgery.Had stitches.Taken a taxi.- Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.Overdosed.- Had a drug or alcohol problem.
- Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.- Gone surfing in California.
Had a hamster/guinea pig.Pet a wild animal.Used a credit card.Did “spirit day” at school.Dyed your hair.- Got a tattoo.
Got straight A’s.Been on the Honor Roll.- Know someone with HIV or AIDS.
Made-out with someone.Played on a sports team.Snuck out of the house.Swore at a teacher.- Gone laser tagging.
Had a boyfriend/girlfriend.- Been on the TV.
French braided.Skinny-dipped.Driven a car.Performed in front of an audience.Been in love.Been on a train.Seen a ghost.Gone bungee-jumping.- Been to Mexico.
- Crashed a car.
- Sky dived.
- Been kissed in the rain.
Made an 11:11 wish.Drank alcohol.Forwarded a chain letter.Made a mistake.
today a 4 foot tall freshman in an angry birds t shirt pushed me out of the way because he “has an honors class to get to move peasant”
